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Lightning Fill-In-The-Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Peter and Paula each have 2. Tom has 4.

SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin. Peter has elected to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. This week, Bernie Sanders said that blank was not qualified to be president.

PETER GROSZ: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Sen. Susan Collins became the second Republican to call for blank confirmation hearings.

GROSZ: Merrick Garland - Supreme Court.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, China announced a new round of sanctions against blank.

GROSZ: Us?

SAGAL: No, North Korea.

GROSZ: Oh.

SAGAL: On Monday, a federal judge approved a $20 billion settlement for victims of the blank oil spill.

GROSZ: The BP oil spill?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A marathoner in Tennessee failed to win his race after he paused halfway through and blanked.

GROSZ: Ran in the other direction.

SAGAL: Ate a burrito. With a last-minute buzzer beater to be UNC Monday, blank won the NCAA basketball championship.

GROSZ: Villanova.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for his hits "Mama Tried" and "Okie From Muskogee," country music legend blank passed away at the age of 79.

GROSZ: Merle Haggard.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a library in Australia was forced...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...It's children-only "Harry Potter"-themed event after it drew protests from blank.

GROSZ: Adults.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Who weren't about to go.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SAGAL: The adults - who shall not be named...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Had protested angrily, not understanding why they shouldn't be allowed to take a potions class and meet snowy owls themselves. The organizers say they're rescheduling the event, and until then kids will have to enjoy the library the old-fashioned way - not at all.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Peter do?

KURTIS: Look out for Peter. He got six right, 12 more points, total of 14 now to give him the lead.

SAGAL: All right, Paula, the bar has been set. You're up next, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the governor of Mississippi signed a law allowing businesses to refuse service to blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Gays.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two weeks after the attacks there, the airport in blank resumed passenger flights on Sunday.

POUNDSTONE: Was it - Brussels?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to U.S. and Russian sources, the two countries are collaborating on a new constitution for war-torn blank.

POUNDSTONE: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This Thursday marked the final episode of reality show and singing competition blank

POUNDSTONE: "American Idol."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the first trailer for the newest movie in the blank franchise was released.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know, "Star Trek."

SAGAL: Oh, so close, "Star Wars."

POUNDSTONE: Oh.

SAGAL: Florida election officials are investigating why a resident...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Was sent voter registration information despite the fact that that resident is blank and blank.

POUNDSTONE: A dog and dead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're so close. It's a cat and dad.

GROSZ: Give it to her.

SAGAL: Bill, what do you think?

KURTIS: Oh, let's give it to her.

SAGAL: I think so.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: It's the pathetic vote.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: She's our cat lady.

TOM BODETT: It's the mercy rule.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Florida election supervisor Mike Ertel and his team have apologized and say that they're shocked that this kind of oversight can happen, especially in Florida where elections typically go off without a hitch.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The cat's owner says he doesn't know who the cat would have voted for but likely would've identified with Bernie Sanders' politics and John Kasich's deadness.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, she got five right. That gives her 10 more points, total of 12 but 2 behind Peter.

POUNDSTONE: (Groans).

SAGAL: All right, how many then does Tom need to win?

KURTIS: Five to tie, six to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Tom. This is for the game. This week, officials in Syria reported that they had retaken a strategically important city from blank.

BODETT: ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the Treasury Department released new regulations, blank scrapped its proposed $160 billion merging with Allergan.

BODETT: Fifer? (ph).

SAGAL: Yeah - oh, so close. Pfizer.

BODETT: Pfizer.

SAGAL: I'll give it to you. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Both New York and California officially adopted plans for a $15 blank.

BODETT: Minimum wage.

SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Ex-coal baron Donald Blankenship was sentenced to a year in prison for his part in a blank explosion.

BODETT: The coal mine explosion.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Police arrested a man in Canada who broke into a gym and blanked.

BODETT: He worked out for several hours without paying.

SAGAL: That's exactly right. He worked out on a stationary bike.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Phil Mickelson and Adam Scott are the favorites to win this year's blank, which began on Thursday.

BODETT: Oh, The Masters...

SAGAL: Right.

BODETT: ...Tournament.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: This week, UConn's women team beat Syracuse to claim their fourth straight blank title.

BODETT: NCAA women's...

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: ...Basketball.

SAGAL: Four days after they were reported missing from a national park in...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...North Carolina, two hikers were found blanking.

BODETT: Living with Pyros the bear and...

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: ...In the Pyrenees.

SAGAL: He's very charming.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: He's got a certain - I don't know, what would you call it? Animal magnetism.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: No, they were found in front of a convenience store busking, completely unaware that they were missing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After first responders spent four days searching multiple counties with helicopters, the two hikers were spotted playing music on the street in Asheville. The authorities were worried they were trapped under a boulder and would need to saw their own arms off. But upon hearing them do Ani DiFranco covers for an hour realized the situation was far worse.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Tom do well enough to win?

KURTIS: We always like to point out an extraordinary performance. He got seven right, 14 more points. He has 18 and the win, yes.

SAGAL: There to go.

BODETT: Thank you very much.

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: Extraordinary performance, extraordinary, extraordinary performance, extraordinary performance.

POUNDSTONE: Extraordinary.

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists what'll be the next surprising revelation from the Panama papers.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is It-Depends-Upon-the-Meaning-of-the-Word-Is-Isabel Robertson (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Miles Doornbos. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mr. Michael Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.